This weekend I've come home to the parent's to re-charge and catch up on a few things whilst they spoil our little bean. Mooching through my draft blog posts I came across this post that I was working on a few days before Elsie's arrival, but I never got around to editing and hitting publish. Goodness knows why, those last few days sitting around with sod all to do except watch tv, eat and put my humungous feet up must have been ever so time consuming. That time already seems like a lifetime ago. But it was an amazing time, one I will cherish forever and so these are the memories that I want to be celebrated and remembered...
I want to remember this feeling forever. Right now you're tucked away safely, right where I can see you and where I can feel you. The tiny flutters to little wriggles and big kicks, all those movements that let me know you're doing OK in there. But this time next week you'll probably be here so I wanted to write this post for you Baby Bean. To let you know how very loved you are from the very beginning.
It's amazing how you can feel so proud of someone you've never even met. I'm proud of how far we've come together, how well we've treated each other and how together we've created something pretty amazing. You. As much as I can't wait to meet you, I already know I'm going to miss having you so close, right where I can protect you from the world and keep you safe.
Before I know it we'll be reaching all those milestones that are going to make my heart ache and forever leave me wondering where the time is going. I want to remember this precious experience that we waited so patiently for and be reminded of this feeling after you are unleashed into the big wide world. I want to remember our serene moments together watching you move around my tummy, using my vital organs to get comfortable. Watching you grow from the outside. You are already our greatest achievement and we haven't even met you yet.
I want to look back on this one day to remind myself of this precious time we shared together. Particularly when we reach those tougher days and milestones that will no doubt be here in no time at all. Those moments when you're keeping us awake all night with your newborn cry. When we're pacing the floor trying to soothe the pain of your first bug. When you're having a tantrum on the floor in Tescos and I'm at my wits end. When you let go of my hand and start your first day of school. When you're stomping up the stairs screaming 'I hate you' because I won't let you get your nose pierced (whatever Nanny and Auntie Emily might say- it ain't happening under my roof!)
When you drive off in your car for the first time, when you go on your first night out with friends, your first date, when you leave the nest...oh the milestones will be endless and I know my heart will ache with each and every one, just as it does when I think about you not being right here, where I can keep you safe.
But I can't stop time.
Each week has already flown past so quickly and now our final days together are slipping through my fingers. We're about to embark on our biggest adventure and amongst all those hard moments, I just know there will be countless others each and everyday that will fill our hearts will love and pride for you little bean. I've loved never feeling alone because you are right here with me. Where I go, you go and that is the feeling I want to hold on to.
So my dear Bump, thank you for fulfilling a dream of ours. Thank you for being so good to me these past 39 weeks. You are loved more than anything and I will treasure the time that we spent together. I promise to love you forever and I'll always be right here when you need me and will always keep you safe.
Until next time...
With Love & Cherishing My Bump,
Thank you so much to the very gorgeous Valentine over at The Chronicles Of... for the bump photo shoot!